Log in

hi! I'm Holly, i just joined. i've been reading thru ya'lls entries… - poisonous_boys [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ archive | journal archive ]

[Apr. 4th, 2006|01:42 am]


hi! I'm Holly, i just joined. i've been reading thru ya'lls entries and this seems like such a great place to rant, and god knows that i have alot of that!

I dated my ex, Aaron, for 4 and a half years. I moved to Kentucky to be with him. I'm originally from Mississippi. I moved into a new apt with my best friend last May, which caused me to see less of him than normal. I guess you could say I kinda started to grow apart from him. Christy, my roommate, met her current boyfriend on the internet and he lives almost 2 hours away. In June, she dicided that she wanted to meet him, so he came up for the weekend and brought his cousin Greg with him for moral support, bc he knew that she'd have me. We all hit it off really well. Me and Greg spent the night talking, drinking .. until it reached the point of me puking and passing out. They left .. I didnt think about him, or expect to think about him. It was just a fun weekend that I spent with my friend and her bf.

In the meantime me and Aaron started growing more apart, or at least I was. I dont think he really had a clue what I was feeling. In october Steven told me that Greg had been asking about me. So I started talking to him on the phone and the internet. I started realizing that I really liked him, and I kinda thought of it as fate that after all those months he wanted to see me again. So Steven and Greg came back down for another weekend. We completely hit it off, I guess you could say we started falling for each other, and by the 3rd night he was in my bed.

The following week I broke up with Aaron. I started dating Greg and things were amazing. December things got rocky. His ex entered the picture, he started dissapearing for days at a time and finally told me that he hated me and we should never talk again. As much as it hurt for him to say that, I accepted it .. only to hear my phone ringing an hour later. We talked things thru, and everything started going perfectly again. For about a month anyways.

Since February things have just gone down hill and then back up and then back down. He lies to me constantly by saying he's gonna do one thing and then does another. He still dissapears. He meets random girls off the internet, for sex of course. Actually he's only done that once since we've been together .. but he's done it lots in the past. He doesnt think I know what he does behind my back, but all his friends and family tell me everything.

Its been over a week since I've talked to him. I'm reaching a point where I'm starting to move on with my life even tho inside I still love him more than anything, and yes .. i know i shouldnt. I've tried calling his house almost every day but i never get an answer. He gets online, but ignores me .. mainly bc he's invisible, but I know he's online and I make it pretty clear to him that I know he's online. I've left him a few "bitchy" emails in the past few days but always with no response. I come home friday to a messege from him on my computer saying, "Im sorry I havent called you. But you could have called Tjs (his friend). I've just been hanging with friends before I have to leave." (he's leaving in July for the national guard.) I didnt reply to him. I havent tried to call him since friday. I still havent heard anything.

Its very obvious that he doesnt want to be tied down, and I dont want to make him feel tied down. I pretty much just want him to be honest with me about what he's feeling. Why do guys have to be such hard asses all the time? And why cant he just leave me alone? Everytime I think I'm starting to get over him .. he shows back up. And I can never seem to say no to him...